Feeling Femme

Trigger Warning: Dysphoria

I awake
I await
What my body has to say
What am I today?



Masc or femme?
Beautiful or hulking?



I stroke my chin
Coarse hair pricks my hand
I feel the gentle teasing of my chin
A wave of revulsion hits me



My face too hairy
My shoulders too broad
My legs too thick



Today won’t be easy
I choose clothes to cover my shoulders
To soften my muscles into feminine curves
Makeup highlights my lips and reshapes my face
Till i feel comfortable with the mirror’s truth



I walk out
Head down, earphones in
Not wanting to give an opening
But I see their stares



I know what they see
A freak in their midst
A thing in a dress
A threat to themselves
So I am afraid



Will they attack?
Should I run? should I hide?
Is this the day my luck runs out?
The day I face the people who want me to know that i am despised
Just keep going



I arrive, safe
Now my day can begin

4 thoughts on “Feeling Femme

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.