I had always felt indifference to my name. I never hated it (though being one Chris amongst many comes with its own frustrations), but it never felt right to me, it was too male, too bland, too straight.
I stumbled across the name Quenby on a list of gender neutral names (I like the letter Q and one of my partners is a Quinn, so that wasn’t an option xD). I loved the sound of it, that it was so obviously queer, that it was an accidental portmanteau of “queer enby”.
So I began to try it out with partners and close friends and it felt nice. As I began to use it more broadly and publicly it felt right, jumping ever more naturally to my tongue. What feels even better though, is hearing it from other people, feeling that validation of others respecting your right to self-identification. It still gives me a burst of joy every time I hear it, but the first times I heard it I got this intense rush of gender euphoria.
Finally I’d like to give thanks to the people who for one reason or another hit me especially hard:
- My partners and housemate, the first people to use it.
- My family, who have been so supportive throughout this process.
- My improv group, the first group setting I shared my new name with. They’ve been wonderful at adjusting to this ❤️
- My queer platonic love Artie, who works at a coffee shop. Writing Quenby on my cup was possibly the first time somebody had written out my name and it almost made me cry in the shop.
I hope you find some joy this week too ❤